Forest: we know a lot of mistakes were made, and apologies are in order, and I will make them when I see you. We all miss you. Jaz and Patch and River in particular miss you terribly. We all want to help you, and we will. So please call or contact us. Gralf
Forest you have no idea how much I miss you; how much we all miss you. There isn’t a single day that goes by where I don’t think about you and how unfair everything was. It meant the world to me that I got to know who you actually were when we were in DRA. And you are an amazing, loving, and supportive big brother. I just wish I could see you again. You never deserved any of the things that happened to you. I wish there was something I could have done to change everything. Just come home please. We are all here for you. I love you and always will. Please come back to us.
Forest – I hope that if you are still out there this message finds you. Life now is so much different than before when we lived with Dad and Jenny. Gran and Gralf are such a loving support system and it’s great to be able to lead my own independent and full life but still spend time with the family when I want to. It is such fun spending the holidays with the Haboians or Christmas at the Millers. We miss you at those family gatherings and we hope one day you feel ready to reach out and become a part of our lives again.
I hope that these messages get to you. It gets harder and harder to write these because it means that we have not given up hope that someday you will see them and as the time goes on, hope can be really painful. I wish you got to know me, I wish I could get to know who you really are. I am so interested in the person you have become, what you care about, what you like to do...I always keep an eye on the faces in crowds on TV hoping to catch a glimpse of your face and then wondering if I would even recognize you. Losing you left a hole in my heart and it has never gotten any easier to miss the brother that I never really got to know. I am sorry that our childhood was what it was but I am even more sorry that I didn't have the chance to be family for you as we got older. I think of you often and I love you, always have always will. As always, if you want to reach out to me, I will respect your confidentiality and help you and support you any way I can.
Forest: A lot has happened: Jenny is long gone back to Vashon. Jenny and Al are now divorced. Jaz graduated from S.F. State and is now working and living in San Francisco. Patch graduated from Duke and is now living and working in New Orleans. River graduated from high school and is preparing to go to Questa in SLO. We all love you and want you back in our lives, or at least to know that you are well. We think about you every day, and every day I regret that I did not come and rescue you from DRA. We sent you birthday cards and Christmas cards; they were returned undelivered. I tried to make arrangements to come see you; I was told that I would not be allowed to visit you. My gut told me that it was wrong to send you there, and I did nothing. For that I apologize. Please let me help you now. I am sure you have goals and dreams; let us help you achieve them.
If it would help you: I talked about you to a friend and fellow lawyer here. He has agreed to help you and act as your lawyer in contacting your family or me, on a strict attorney-client confidential communication basis. He will do what you ask. He is Brian D. Drazen, Red Bank, N.J. His email is "firstname.lastname@example.org" Brian can help you do what you want or get a message to us-your choice.
Hi Forest, I don't even know what to say or if you will ever even see this, but I think the most important thing I want you to know is I love you and I miss you every single day of my life. I am now living in San Francisco, I work for the Giants (the baseball team) planning non-baseball events in the ballpark. It is really cool to feel like such a grown up and to actually have a real job. I do a lot of rock climbing still, I usually ride my bike to work, and I very much enjoy the local SF restaurants and bars. One of the very best parts of my life has been getting to know Patch and River better, along with all our extraordinarily amazing aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. I never knew family could be this amazing until I moved out of our parents' lives.
If I had a chance to know you, I would want to really know who you are and who you've become. I am sad I am missing out on all the unique things that make you who you are. Did you know Patch is the most forgiving and kind hearted person I have ever met? She can't stop adopting pets, it kind of drives Gralf crazy and it is all around the sweetest little family thing. River is the most hard working and determined kid ever. He is about to go to Europe for a bit with some pals, he graduated from high school a semester early, works full time in an auto shop, and is all around super smart and a total badass.
And me. I just work a little every day on being a better person and becoming the person I think I can be. If you ever want to see me or talk to me, please reach out. If you didn't want anyone else to know, I wouldn't tell them. And now that we won't get in trouble, I could take you out to all the lunches you could ever eat!
I love you, Forest. I hope, with all my heart, that you are healthy and happy.
I hope that you come across this safe and well. It feels like it has been a lifetime since I have seen you, and I am sure it feels like more for you. I know that leaving was your way of getting out and I don't blame you for that at all. I probably would have done the same thing in your shoes. I just want you to know that things can be very different now. We are not children anymore, so we can live and choose as adults. I just want you to know how amazing it has been reconnecting and growing a real relationship with River and Jasmine. We miss you so much and just want to have our brother back so we can know you and be your friend. I hope that you have found an amazing life for yourself, and you don't have to leave it. Just let us know that you are okay; it would mean the world to your siblings and the rest of your family.
Hi Forest! I am truly amazed and impressed with how strong you are. I know you were smart and capable, but you have surpassed my grandest expectations. I miss you, and I wish I could relive the past so I could have helped you to do something different. But I can’t change the past and erase the mistakes I made. I am sorry that I made the wrong choice for you. I would definitely do it differently if I could do it again. I am hoping you will call us soon. I really want to find out how you are, what you been doing and your siblings and Grandparents miss you tons. The whole family would love to help you. I know you don’t need it, but we want to. Let us be a part of you life and tell us about yours. You are amazing and I am looking forward to seeing you again. I love you!
Hey Forest. I know we haven't seen each other in a really long time, but this is your cousin Logan. It took me a long time to think out all of what I would want to say to you if I ever got the chance, but I wanted to start by asking if you remember the last time you and your siblings came over to my house, and you apologized for the last summer we had spent together on Fisher's Island? I had brushed your apology off because I had wanted to seem 'cool' to you or something ridiculous like that. So for that, I am sorry. I don't know if you actually felt you had to say sorry or if one of your 'parental figures' (if you can even call them that) had told you that you had to apologize, but either way, you really had nothing to be sorry for. There were times when you had gotten pretty angry, but who wouldn't with what was going on in your life at the time? You confided in me during that summer, and I remember feeling helpless to help you but glad that you felt you could talk to me about it. I look back on that summer all the time, and it's one of my favorite memories of Fisher's because of the bonding, joking around, playing on the beach, and time we all got to spend together. I still remember all of the jokes you told me and River that summer, and I laughed so hard I cried the last time I tried to tell the one about the old lady and the pickle factory. I think that summer was the longest amount of time we ever spent together, and I am so grateful that we have those memories. I hope that you can also look back on them with fondness. I am sure that I do not know of even half of the trials you went through, and I'm not going to tell you that I understand or that I want you to come home because that isn't true. What I do know is that we will see each other again some day, and I look forward to whenever that will be. I just hope that where ever you are and what ever you are doing that you are happy and surrounded by people that love and appreciate you and who you love as well. I miss you Forest. I love you, and I hope we can catch up for lost time soon.
Until then, with love,
Hey Forest: Call us- we love you and want to hear from you. Please contact me. You know how Love Gralf
Hi Forest...As I write this, it's been two and a half years now since we have known whether or not you are OK. I hope that you are. I think of you often. If you are reading this, will you please let us know if you need anything? I don't want anything from you that you don't want to give except to know if you're all right. I don't want you to do or be anything that you don't want to do or be. I just want you to be healthy and safe and happy. Please let us know if you are, or if you need our help. Maybe you don't realize how much we love you and miss you -- I hope you can believe me that we do. Take care, Forest. Be well. Love, Fall.
Dear Forest – When we saw each other last it was in the driveway at Gran and Gralph’s. You were not much taller than I that day and you gave me a big hug and I remember being so happy that you were so warm and friendly. You were a fine guy then and I’m sure you are a fine guy now (probably a little taller now). I hope one day we can sit on a rock somewhere and quietly catch up on each other’s lives. I’m sending you my email and fb addresses in case you might one day want to say hello. I love you, Forest. I did then, I do now. Joanie